Mistress (lover)

Lore & Background

The historically best known and most-researched mistresses are the royal mistresses of European monarchs, such as Agnès Sorel, Diane de Poitiers, Barbara Villiers, Nell Gwyn, Madame de Montespan, and Madame de Pompadour. Keeping a mistress was not confined to royalty and nobility but permeated down through social ranks to any man who could afford to do so. A wealthy merchant or a young noble might have had a kept woman, and being a mistress was typically an occupation for a younger woman who, if fortunate, might go on to marry her lover or another man of rank. In the courts of Europe, particularly Versailles and Whitehall in the 17th and 18th centuries, a mistress often wielded great power and influence. A king might have numerous mistresses but have a single 'favourite mistress' or 'official mistress' (in French, maîtresse-en-titre), as with Louis XV and Madame de Pompadour. The mistresses of both Louis XV and Charles II were often considered to exert great influence over their lovers, the relationships being open secrets. Even a Pope, Alexander VI, kept mistresses. Occasionally the mistress is in a superior position both financially and socially to her lover. As a widow, Catherine the Great was known to have been involved with several successive men during her reign, choosing not to share her power with a husband. In literature, D. H.

Reader's Guide

The concept of the mistress has evolved over time. Historically, the term denoted a kept woman maintained by a wealthy man, and such relationships were common across social ranks. In the 17th and 18th centuries, royal mistresses could wield significant political influence, as seen with Madame de Pompadour. The practice continued into the 20th century, though as divorce became more socially acceptable, it became easier for men to divorce their wives and marry the women who might have been their mistresses. The term 'mistress' is now used primarily to refer to the female lover of a married man, without necessarily implying financial support. In literature, the distinction between a kept woman and a prostitute was important in works like Fanny Hill and Moll Flanders, and the theme of being 'kept' appears in novels about women as victims. The practice has been defended by reference to ancient concubinage and Old Testament verses, while others have celebrated non-marital unions as a woman's free choice, as with George Eliot's defiant life 'in sin' with a married man.

Did You Know?

• The term 'mistress' was originally used as the feminine counterpart of 'mister' and meant the woman married to the owner or renter of the house.
• Sacha Guitry declared, 'When you marry your mistress, you create a job vacancy.'